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Tell me what you think? Linda Law..... 5/5/2009 9:06:04 AM
Have you ever said or done something to hurt their feelings and didn't even realize it? This week has been filled with so much; as many of you can relate, but it's sort of drained me too...even tho, ya'll know I'm not one to stay knocked down for long. The other day it was my turn to have the neighbors over for dinner...it began a couple months ago where it was just one couple asking us over...and they had a few guests, and so we said we'd have the next dinner outdoors... We decided on a Mexican dinner since it was so close to Cinco de Mayo (May 5th celebration).. I worked all day Saturday preparing everything for Sunday evening, so that I wouldn't have to spend the day of the dinner exhausted with the cooking and setting up. We asked the same people, but Joe decided to ask another couple down the street whom we had met a few times and had enjoyed during those "few minutes"... The dinner was great, and I had everything set up very nice, and the guests brought flowers and a fruit basket, and wine and a pitcher of Margarita's! Taco's and enchilada's, beans and rice, and fresh fruit salad with watermelon, canteloupe, strawberries, bananas and fresh pineapple.. Yummy... Everyone was gone by 9:30 and I cleaned up and was ready for bed by 11:00....
Yesterday, two of the neighbors invited me to join them for coffee and a movie at 9am at one of their homes. I am not a morning person, but I dressed and baked one of those gooey canned biscuit coffee cakes...It was my first attempt and it was delicious! We sat down and she served coffee and turned on the TV... then she looked at me and said..."What did you mean last nite when you said, Oh..you are the baby in the family..so you must have been the spoiled one." I laughed and said, "Well, I'm the oldest and we have a horrible reputation for being the bossy and most unliked ones....and my two younger siblings were spoiled rotten." Well.............
She looked me in the face and yelled at me! She spoke as if I were a child, and said, "You DON'T KNOW ME...YOU KNOW NOTHING ABOUT ME...YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT KIND OF LIFE I HAD TO LIVE AS THE YOUNGEST, NOR DO YOU HAVE THE RIGHT TO SAY WHAT YOU DID!" I am just not one to ever say anything unkind to anyone period...I'd rather die than hurt feelings...so I was shocked! Then she proceeded to ask me again...."Why would you think I was spoiled since I was the youngest?"..... I told her that I was very sorry if I had offended her, that it was not in the least intentional, and that I wish I could take it back. I said, It was said in simple innocence and perhaps simple ignorance... I wanted to cry I was so ashamed that I had hurt her that way. Then she said that she had a horrible childhood, and as the youngest was the most responsible, the one who was the glue in a very dysfunctional family, and my heart broke even more... I explained that I'd met so many siblings in all order, first, middle and youngest, and the stories were almost identical.... each certain that "he/she" was the most maligned or misunderstood..... stemming from the oldest going thru so much hardship and/or abuse, having to be the responsible one...long before their time...still babies who had to watch the others, etc.... and that by the time the middle child came along....things were beginning to steady in the house as the parents became more settled in work and situation, and so the middle children felt neglected and overlooked.....and then the youngest came along and the parents were now past that "struggling" stage of raising kids and working jobs and paying the mortgage, etc...and now the younger one(s) got the benefit of that situation, which now caused strife in the family because they got the privileges that the older and middle children could never even hope to have....etc..... Well... I was wrong to "assume" and I am able to see all sides.
We never saw the movie...we drank coffee...shared and cried...and altho I apologized a few times, she never acknowledged it...so I'm left feeling sick inside, and so uneasy again. I am quite reclusive, and this is one of the reasons... trust...and knowing that people can be cruel...and I never want to be one of those cruel people...and here I am...hurting an innocent person...and so I didn't try to match her past hardships, because I knew she didn't want to know about me....this was about her and her pain....
Have any of you had this happen to you? I will smile again, and I will be kind to her...but I don't want to be friends again with anyone here anymore.... I want to just hide inside again...and stick to my writing and my busy projects.... This is the FIRST TIME in my life that anyone has spoken to me in this direct bold way...angry and ready to smash me with words of hurt and...I couldn't do anything to fix it... I came home and altho the day went ok.... I even was offered a job...and then I cried again... I need a job...but I will have to drive in heavy traffic going and coming...and I'm petrified of that now... and so...I know I'll take the job...and cry every day to and from work...and yet the job is a good thing I suppose... many would be so happy... and... now I may not be able to do the prison ministry that I want to do so much.... and...well...
How about some of you dear and wonderful friends giving a little prayer for Miss Whiney today... My spirits need a little lift... oh...and I missed Bible study yesterday because Joe and I had to drive to our old house which is about an hour drive away, and we had dinner out, and then visited some old neighbors for a few minutes.... and Joe told me the entire day what a great day it had been for me! I got invited to a nice breakfast/movie he said... then...I got a job offer....and then....we drove away for awhile and had dinner at the nice Steakhouse on the house, and they gave me a nice set of French Cookware as well... and then we visited friends...and so....Wow... you also have beautiful flowers that your dinner guests brought, and you are so blessed..... Is this depression? Is this just normal stuff? Is it that I am overwhelmed right now and it will certainly pass.... My friend George Carroll goes into surgery at 11 am tomorrow and I'm so concerned for him...and it just seems so many of my dear friends are in some sort of trauma....and all I can do is offer prayer...
In spite of this down message, I hope you all understand that I do know this too shall pass...and I know that God loves me...and that I pray each of you will have a great day... We just have to be there for one another....if not in person, in spirit... :-)) hugs and love, lindalaw
