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Blogs by Linda Law
Merry Christmas to all... and some meanderings too... 12/26/2009 1:58:45 PM
Yesterday was Christmas Day....and I must say...it was a nice day for me. I wasn't expecting my "days off" to be much, but at the last minute, we decided to take off for Laughlin, NV and stay at Harrah's, Wed, Thurs, Friday and Saturday....It was wonderful...so we decided to leave early, and drove home Friday after a huge delicious breakfast.... NOW... I pray that ya'll had a wonderful Christmas, safe and filled with good food, friends, and everything else special! Joe and I didn't put up a tree this year, as I'm working, and our kids are grown or growing up so fast that we are not "Most Important" anymore.... so.. Joe decorated the house, front yard, and even placed some holiday lites above the bar in our home..We keep those lites on year round, as they tend to make us "happy"....
We exchanged gifts with one another while in Laughlin, and he received a phone call from his oldest son in California. My daughter and g-son called me, and that was the highlight of our day. We laughed when we got home, and realized that we still had some "unopened gifts" sitting on the counter of the bar, and decided to see what we had received from various friends. We laughed at the silliness of the gifts, some quite ridiculous and a total waste of money...but we also knew that "it's the thought that counts"...or so we want to believe! Joe saved the gift from his two youngest for last....you know, the best for last! Well... I can complain all I want about Joe...but I dare anyone else to say or do something unkind to him! His youngest two are teens.... 14 and 18 next month! These two kids have always had Joe in their lives...to babysit, to hug, to lug, to run them around, to support them emotionally and financially...never with anything less than love...which is more than I could say about his feelings for me over the years...but...that's something else. Anyway... They have a great mom, live in a great home, have had the best in life, spoiled, and yet they seem to be above average intelligence, but with little to no manners or gratitude. Every birthday, I see these two kids bring their dad a gift of "Mr. Goodbars" and/or a handmade card, or a framed photo of themselves! We have so darn many pix's of these kids that there is literally no more room on the walls or shelves to put them....and I gave up putting up pix's of my kids long ago...why bother? Anyway...Every year the gifts from Joe finally became monetary ones..."Because dad...we prefer cash...." So... now the huge cash gift cards are the thing.... and he does it with such love and care... while I watch them call him at the spur of the moment, "We're on our way over...we have a couple hours to burn....then we have to get back"....and we are supposed to be "on call".... it just makes me want to barf...but I smile and let them know how glad we are to see them... This year...well, these past few months...I've just about had it! Yesterday however....well, I think I've decided on my New Years Resolution....and watch out Kids!
We opened our little gifts, laughed and then he opened his gift from his daughter. Before that, however, I asked...what did Cory give you? "Oh...he handed me a bag with some oranges from the tree in the back yard." I know my jaw dropped to the floor! "Oh...and did you take them out to lunch?" Of course, he took them to Applebee's where they wanted to go...they always have a "place" for him to take them...and they ate well... then he dropped them off at home. Now it was time for him to open his daughters gift... She's becoming a lovely girl, once very overweight, sloppy and whiney...but now...thinner and disciplined, and getting ready to go to college in the fall. He pulled out the green tissue paper, slowly unwrapped the gift...and walla...a size 3x5 framed photo of HER! One of those dollar store frames... wrapped in a sheet of green tissue, and inside a dollar store bag....with a small card inside..."DAD"... I saw the tears well up...and I thought...he's upset... and I was FUMING MAD....HOLDING IT INSIDE...Seeing this loving father dismissed as if he were nothing more than another photo and a bag of oranges! I said, "Oh honey...I can't believe they can be so selfish...he looked up at me...and said..."No...it's just this...look at how grown up she is...I still remember her as that chubby little girl that I used to carry everywhere...and look at her now!"..... I was in shock... he didn't get it....OR I DIDN'T GET IT?? Excuse me...but...Bull pucky.... I am thinking.... what did they give their mom for Christmas? Their grandparents on that side? Their friends? It is not the matter of the price of anything...don't misunderstand me...but...he forks over $1600 every single month...has for all the ten years I've known him....and he's given them anything they've ever asked within reason...always put them before me or anyone else in his life...and...this is how he's treated!!! I am so darn mad...no...it didn't ruin Christmas...but I will tell you...I wanted to just tell them both off...and their mother too! Oh well.... I've vented... I've sort of gotten it off my chest...but...I plan to sit them down soon...and I don't care who it ticks off...(He's begged me not to say anything!) why? because they've NEVER heard a voice loud...or been spoken to with firmness NEVER.... and they have no manners...nothing but fat selfish hearts who have taken their father for granted...believing that their mother is the only one who cares...while she dates and has made them latchkey for years...always taking them on trips that Joe has paid for....has given them portfolio's before the divorce, and has done it with love and never regret... It just has me so riled up... anyway... I have to pray about this...have to find the right words to say to them...so that the message isn't mistaken with "what they spent for a darn gift"....because that is not the message... I just believe that they have never been told what he has done for them all these years...their mother has never given him credit for being a good father, in spite of a divorce that SHE WANTED....etc.... anyway...so much for being ticked off....
SO... sure would like to hear some of your suggestions...and I don't care if you slam me...I can take it... By the way... I miss my kids too...they often neglect me too...and they are not privileged as his kids are...but..they call me...and even when they can't afford it...(they have families, have tough jobs, bills to pay, kids to feed, etc...) but they manage to gather up a package for me with things they want me to have...things to let me know they love me...when I am so happy just to know they are well...and would rather they keep the money and use it for their own needs... so...it's not about the money...it's just that...Joe deserves better....and it was hard to see his tears....at the end of a wonderful little Christmas that we had both shared together....I felt it in my heart...and I hurt for him...yet...he insisted..."I don't want things from them..." but I know...I know... He is planning a wonderful 18th birthday for her....next month... a big girl, grown up dinner at a fancy place...expensive...and another nice gift card....and I just want to throw a coupon for a BIG MAC at her....and say...sorry...we got somewhere to go chickie.... but...of course.... that won't happen... I'll behave for his sake...
or .... maybe I won't?? hugs, lindalaw
