Well, here it is, New Year’s Eve, which means it’s time for us to make our resolutions for 2008. After all, making New Year’s resolutions is an American tradition. We do it every year, don’t we? At least, I know I do. And, invariably, before any time at all has passed (sometimes not even a day), I break each and every one of those resolutions. And that is why I decided to take a different approach this year. Instead of setting myself up for failure, I have ensured my success. How? Well, I have created not one but two lists of resolutions for the coming year. One is comprised of goals I know, beyond a shadow of a doubt, I can accomplish; the other of goals I have no desire whatsoever to accomplish.

And that's enough in the way of explanation. Here are my two lists of resolutions for 2008:

I resolve not to

1. Run naked through the streets.
2. Vote Republican.
3. Wear thong underpants.
4. Wear stiletto heels, with or without fishnet stockings.
5. Get multiple body piercings, or even one for that matter.
6. Get a tattoo.
7. Sing in a Karaoke bar.
8. Eat boiled spinach.
9. Eat crawfish or lobster or any other creature that is boiled alive.
10. Use gratuitous profanity since it’s the mark of someone with an extremely limited vocabulary (now, an occasional expletive, depending upon the circumstances, is entirely acceptable.)
11. Yak on my cell phone while driving.
12. Yak on my cell phone in elevators, restaurants, churches, theatres, or any place where I might disturb other people.
13. Eat dirt.
14. Quit smoking.
15. Quit drinking several pots of coffee a day.
16. Quit being an obsessive/compulsive, anxiety-riddled neurotic.

I resolve to

1. Believe that good ultimately triumphs over evil.
2. Treat all God’s creatures, both human and animal, courteously and with respect.
3. Take the time to tell the people I love just how much they mean to me.
4. Pray that America’s troops in the Middle East are allowed to return home.
5. Continue believing that education can and does change lives for the better.
6. Continue helping my students to believe in themselves.
7. Read something, even if it’s only the newspaper, every day of the week.
8. Write something, even if it’s only one paragraph, every day of the week.
9. Donate to the Salvation Army.
10. Donate to the National Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Animals.
11. Vote Democrat.
12. Continue boring readers with my blog.