Well, it seems yet another family-values-spouting politician has been caught with his pants down, not figuratively but literally in his case. This time it’s the now ex-governor of New York, Eliot Spitzer (he resigned on Wednesday), who was once considered a straight-arrow crusader out to slay the big, bad dragon called Corruption.

According to an article in Thursday’s The Advocate (2008), Spitzer has allegedly been spending thousands of dollars on high-priced call girls, perhaps as much as $80,000, at an escort service called the Emperors Club VIP, whose women charge as much as $5,500 an hour (p. 6A). Wow, I don’t know about you, but it’s almost impossible for me to imagine anyone’s being paid that much money for, well, you-know-what.

But the price is beside the point. The point is this: I want to know why politicians can’t just be honest? Why do they have to pretend to be something they aren’t? Just think about it. Wouldn’t it be refreshing to hear someone who is running for office step up to the microphone and admit to the voting public that he or she has vices?

Candidate One: “I admit I smoked pot when I was younger. And I inhaled. Moreover, I enjoyed being stoned.”

Candidate Two: “Well, I snorted cocaine. Still do, for that matter, and I have the ruined nostrils to prove it.”

Candidate Three: “Big deal. Me, I’m an alcoholic, and I down an entire pint of Jack Daniels every morning before breakfast. Plus, I kick the family dog.”

Candidate One: “I can top that. I read girly magazines, watch porno flicks, and belong to a nudist colony.”

Candidate Two: “Hah, you think that’s bad? In addition to snorting coke, I fly to Vegas every weekend to gamble—I’ve lost over 100 grand this year alone—and I do it all at the taxpayers’ expense. Oh, and I cheat on my wife.

Candidate Three: “Ah, come on, I’ll have you know that I not only drink like a fish and kick the dog, I cheat on my taxes. Better than that, I’m an atheist.”

There’s an old saying: Honesty is the best policy. And, personally, I have very little tolerance for hypocrites and liars. Besides, it would be nice to know exactly who we were voting for when we went to the polls, wouldn’t it? No more surprises—just complete and total honesty. And that, in my opinion, would be a refreshing change.

Dobnik, V. & Gormley, M. Associated Press. “N.Y. Governor Resigns, Might Face Criminal Charges.” The Advocate. Thursday, March 13, 2008. p. A1-A6.