I think I’ll write about three things tonight: autumn, Sarah Palin, and cultural literacy.

“Come again,” you say and rock back in your chair. “What on earth does autumn have to do with Sarah Palin, and where does cultural literacy fit into the picture?”

Haven't you ever heard that "patience is a virtue" or that "good things come to those who wait”? So, just sit back, relax, and trust me.  

First, regarding autumn, you see, I am currently in a contemplative, perhaps even pensive mood, and although I could be wrong (but I rather doubt it), I think it has something to do with autumn. Autumn, after all, has always been my favorite time of the year. I absolutely love the changing trees; the whisper of falling leaves and the rustle underfoot once those leaves carpet the ground; the flocks of geese arrowed against a heartbreakingly blue sky; the silvery sparkle of frost; and the crisp, cool air that makes you feel reborn after the sweltering, muggy heat of summer. And my enjoyment of autumn was especially pronounced back in my beloved Georgia. Georgia autumns are really so breathtakingly beautiful, so beautiful, in fact, they always made me feel like weeping, although not from sorrow but joy over the sheer magnificence of nature dressed in its most colorful finery and strutting about on the world’s stage for everyone to behold.  Granted, however, I haven’t seen a Georgia autumn in a good many years now, but I still recall them vividly, and I especially miss them beginning around mid-October; and my sense of longing doesn’t even begin to wane until late November, perhaps because I know that autumn has at last faded to but a lingering memory back in Georgia. 

Yes, in southwest Louisiana, even though the climate is subtropical and temperate, there is an autumn, or what passes for one, but not only is the season short-lived, it also lacks the splendor of autumn in Georgia. For one, only a few native trees change colors; and those colors pale in comparison to that displayed by the hardwoods back in my home state. Then there’s the matter of frost. Here, Jack Frost doesn’t normally make an appearance until after Thanksgiving; and, like the changing leaves, it doesn’t compare to what Georgia has to offer. Why? Well, the frost in southwest Louisiana lacks the diamond-like luster and that snap-crackle-pop crunchiness underfoot; plus, unless you arise before 6:00 AM, you will miss it entirely, since the frost dissolves the instant the Louisiana sun glares over the eastern horizon. Plus, there’s the temperature. Although southwest Louisiana does get noticeably cooler by November, with nighttime temperatures dipping into the 40’s and daytime highs in the 70-to-80 range, it’s still too warm to wear sweaters and jackets, and there’s just something about wearing shorts and T-shirts that, at least for me, ruins the autumn season.

So, that said, I will now move on to Sarah Palin.

With an audible groan, you roll your eyes and say, “Talk about an abrupt change in focus. Aren’t you always reprimanding your students for abruptly shifting focus in their papers?”

Perhaps I am, but this is not a student paper; and, besides, students should do as I say, not as I do.

Now, where was I before you so rudely interrupted? Oh, yes, Sarah Palin. And it’s perhaps apropos that you mentioned “students” since your doing so has provided me with the perfect lead-in to what I want to say concerning the Neiman-Marcus-shopping, gun-toting, moose-killing wannabe-vice-president-but-defeated-at-the-polls Governor-of Alaska. And what I want to say is this: Personally, I have to wonder just how much, if any, attention she was paying to her teachers when she was a high school student and aspiring beauty contestant.  After all, this is a woman who doesn’t know that Africa is a continent or South Africa a country (I heard this on Hardball, with Chris Matthews, on Friday, 2008). Plus, when asked the role of the vice president, this same woman told a third-grader that the vice president is not only the president's "teammate" but also "runs the Senate" and "can really get in there with the senators and make a lot of good policy changes" (I also heard this on Hardball, with Chris Matthews, although it was post-election and I cannot remember the exact date).

In my opinion, for what it’s worth, there are certain facts that any educated person should know, and those facts include, but are not limited to, the names of the seven continents of the world, as well as the duties of the vice president. Then again, I’m really not especially surprised that Palin is so ill informed since it seems the majority of Americans today are, to put it delicately, rather culturally challenged. After all, when I give my students, most of whom are adults well past their teenage years, a cultural literacy test, most of them do not know, for example, the year World War II ended, the name of the President of the Confederacy, the author of A Tale of Two Cities, or, and this is scary, the branches of the United States government.

So, considering this, I am going to conduct a little cultural literacy survey. How many of you, dear readers, know the answers to these questions:

1.      What landmasses are considered continents?

2.      What is the role of the Vice President of the United States?

3.      In what year did World War II officially end?

4.      Who was the President of the Confederate States of America?

5.      Who is the author of A Tale of Two Cities?

6.      What are the branches of the US government?

Please post your answers as a comment; and in a day or two, we’ll look at the results and see just how many of you provided the correct answers. And, no, you are not allowed to do an online search and locate the answers on Wikipedia or any other site, nor are you allowed to utilize any other source. The only source you can use is your brain. And, yes, there is a prize for the first person who correctly answers, although I’m not going to tell you what the prize is since, well, it would spoil the surprise.