I have a question for you: just how stupid do some people think other people are? Don’t bother to answer because I already know the answer; it’s “pretty darned stupid,” at least based upon two e-mails I received in less than a week. And in case you’re curious, here are the two e-mails (errors intact):

1. Dear Sir/Ma,
   
   I hope this mail meets you in a vital health and a good state of mind. This may come to you as a surprise but it is for real. After an evaluation with computer permutation and manual records, we have found out that you are among the 50 people that have legally and creditably used ATM card effectively. Thus, being the CEO of SWIFT TRAVELEX ATM CARD, a corporation that works with ATM service providers all over the world, We have decided to reward you in utmost good faith with a brand new ATM card that contains $250,000 (Two hundred and fifty thousand U.S Dollars).
   
   With this ATM card you can withdraw a minimum of $3,000 (three thousand U.S Dollars) and a maximum of $4,500 four thousand five hundred U.S Dollars) everyday. Also, this ATM card gives you an opportunity to win a huge sum of $100,000,000 (One hundred million U.S Dollars) which will be given to just 10 people courtesy our ATM card raffle draw at the end of this month.
   
   Immediately you get this mail, contact Dr. Mark Smith.  Who is in charge of the ATM PAYMENT DEPARTMENT with your:
   
   FULL NAME:
   CURRENT ADDRESS:
   COUNTRY OF RESIDENCE
   DIRECT TELEPHONE NUMBER:
   
   
2. Let me start by introducing myself. I am Mr Joseph C.Y Poon. Director of operations of the Hang Seng Bank Ltd. I have an obscured business suggestion for you. Before the U.S and Iraqi war our client Gen. Hemood A.Hemood who was with the Iraqi forces and also businessman made a numbered fixed deposit for 18 calendar months, with a value of Twenty Four million Four Hundred Thousand United State Dollars only in my branch.

Upon maturity several notices was sent to him, even during the war which began in 2003. Again after the war another notification was sent and still no response came from him. We later find out that the General along with his wife and only daughter had been killed during the war in a bomb blast that hit their home. After further investigation it was also discovered that Gen. Hemood A. Hemood did not declare any next of kin in his official papers including the paper work of his bank deposit. And he also confided in me the last time he was at my office that no one except me knew of his deposit in my bank. So, Twenty Four million Four Hundred Thousand United State Dollars is still lying in my bank and no one will know of it. What bothers me most is that according to the laws of my country at the expiration of 3 years and 6 months the funds will revert to the ownership of the Hong Kong Government if nobody applies to claim the funds. Against this backdrop, my suggestion to you is that I will like you as a foreigner to stand as the next of kin to Gen. Hemood A.Hemood so that you will be able to receive his funds.

WHAT IS TO BE DONE:

I want you to know that I have had everything planned out so that we shall come out successful. I have an attorney that will prepare the necessary document that will back you up as the next of kin to Gen. Hemood A. Hemood, all that is required from you at this stage is for you to provide me with your Full Names and Address so that the attorney can commence his job. After you have been made the next of kin, the attorney will also fill in for claims on your behalf and secure the necessary approval and letter of probate in your favour for the move of the funds to an account that will be provided by you.

There is no risk involved at all in this matter, as we are going adopt a legalized method and the attorney will prepare all the necessary documents. Please endeavor to observe utmost discretion in all matters concerning this issue. Should you be interested please send me your


1,Full names,

2,Private phone number,

3,Current residential address.

Okay, the next question is this: Am I stupid enough to send them my contact information and then expect to receive an ATM card worth $250.000 and my share of 24,400,000 U.S. dollars? Well, all I can say is that my parents didn’t raise my siblings and me to be complete idiots. Oh, perhaps Bud, Vicki, and I have had our moments of idiocy through the years, but we are not dumb enough to believe that someone is going to give us something for nothing, especially when that someone is a total stranger who lives in another country and cannot write a grammatically correct sentence.

On the other hand, knowing the human race as I have come to know it, I am positive that some people, somewhere, who received the same e-mails, have already sent their contact information to these charlatans and are now gleefully chortling to themselves, dollar signs dancing in their delusional minds, as they await the arrival of their newfound fortunes. And that, my friends, just goes to prove what I’ve always maintained, which is that some humans are not only greedy, they’re also dumb as boards. And do you know what? When you put stupidity and greed together in a human being, you get one scary combination.