In case you’ve been wondering why I haven’t written any new blog entries recently—and even if you haven’t been wondering at all—I decided perhaps I should fill you in regarding what’s been transpiring in my life, which has led to a dearth of any insightful commentaries on my part for around two weeks now. And, yes, it goes without saying that I am literally itching to write my opinion on the recent shopping extravaganza of Vice Presidential contender Sarah Palin—the gun-toting, moose-slaying, soccer-mom Governor of Alaska—since she spent what, at least for me, amounts to almost six-years pay in that one wild and crazy shopping spree.

Rolling your eyes, you say, “If it went without saying, then why on earth did you say it?”

And I am delighted to know that your acerbic wit has not lost its edge during my hiatus. But, as I was saying, events in my life have interfered with my ability to devote much time to writing blog entries, as well as much of anything else, even e-mails.

With a groan, you now say, “Just spit it out and get it over with.”

I’m trying, but you, dear reader, keep interrupting, leading me to wonder if your parents ever taught you that it’s rude to interrupt when someone else is speaking—or writing, as the case may be.

Now, as I was about to explain, I have been extremely busy, not only with teaching online classes seven days a week and grading a seemingly endless stream of student papers, but also with what has become a major renovation project.

You ask, “What, pray tell, have you been doing?”

I’m trying my darnedest to tell you. What I’ve been doing is painting the entire interior of our house. I have, so far, painted the foyer, two bathrooms, the dining room, and the kitchen; and not only have I painted the walls in the bathrooms and kitchen, I have also redone the exterior of the cabinets. And, trust me, although hard work is supposed to be good for both the body and mind, it has made my wrists sore, my back sore, my neck sore, and my legs sore; plus, it has left me in one foul state of mind. Why? Well, because of my beloved hubby, has not lifted one finger to help, that is, unless you want to count the encouragement he’s provided by wandering by on occasion, sticking his head in the doorway, glancing around the room, holding his nose so he won’t inhale the paint fumes, nodding, and mumbling, “Looking good, honey.”

And that brings me to the point of this blog entry.

“Oh, please,” you moan. “You mean there’s a point?”

And what did I tell you about interrupting? As I was about to say before you made yet another unsolicited comment, Chet has not once offered to help with this renovation project, even though this house is supposed to be jointly-owned property. Not that this is the first time Chet hasn’t offered to help. In fact, his failure to contribute is ongoing condition. See, I do all the yard work, all the minor repairs, all the cleaning, all the cooking, and just about all of everything else that needs doing around this house.

And why is this the case? Well, Chet’s sister, Pat, tried to warn me before I married her brother. She said he was lazy. Then again, she failed to tell me he was also totally helpless. See, Chet doesn’t know how to do the things I always thought men were born knowing how to do. So, with this sad state of affairs in mind, and based upon personal experiences BC (Before Chet) and AC (After Chet), I have concluded that women should insist that men pass a lie-detector test before they agree to marry those men. And this test should consist of a given battery of questions:

1. Do you own a socket set?
2. Do you own a Phillips head screwdriver?
3. Do you own a hammer?
4. Do you own a drill, electric or otherwise?
5. If you answered in the affirmative, do you know how to use the aforementioned items without causing yourself—or anyone else—serious bodily harm?
6. Can you change the oil in a vehicle?
7. Can you change a flat tire on a vehicle?
8. Do you even know where the jack and spare tire are located in a vehicle?
9. Can you crank a lawnmower?
10. Can you maneuver a running lawnmower around a yard without pushing it over and through the flowerbeds?
11. Can you tell the difference between a paintbrush and a hairbrush?
12. If you answered yes to the previous question, can you dip a paintbrush into a can of paint and then apply paint to a wall without dribbling paint all over the floor or splattering it on adjoining walls or the furniture?
13. Do you know how to repair a malfunctioning electric light?
14. Do you know to turn off the main breaker when you tinker with the wiring on anything electrical?
15. Do you know how to replace a leaky faucet on a sink?
16. Do you know to turn off the water under a sink before attempting to replace a leaky faucet?
17. Do you even know where the shutoff value is located under a sink?
18. Do you know that toilets are not meant to flush entire roles of paper towels into the sewer system?
19.  Have you ever attempted to flush an entire roll of paper towels into a sewer system? 
20. Are you allergic to physical labor of any kind?

There are more questions I would ask, but it’s now almost 2:00 in the morning here in the swamps of Louisiana, and I have a living room to paint tomorrow—I mean today—plus, I have to drive to Home Depot, pick up 20 concrete blocks, bring them home, unload them, and then help my neighbor (Thank the Good Lord for good neighbors) erect a storage building in our backyard, a storage building, by the way, that I alone will paint without any help from my dear hubby.