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Blogs by Karla Yazzolino
That's What I Think 2/1/2012 11:48:59 AM
Here is an exerpt from Me Finally:
Having memories can be a gift or a curse. I guess we can choose to let them enrich our life or destroy it. When I exam the memories I have, I seem to have more that can destroy my life than I have ones that enrich my life. But in order to reach a level of happiness that fills up my soul I must hold close those memories of laughter, love, and enlightenment. Even through the torrential bleakness of anxiety, I must seek the light of life that I can see filtering through the blackness that is my memory bank.
If I use my brain as a slide show or now days a Power Point presentation, and put it on fast-forward, I think I would get a vision of black scenes clicking by with snippets of white (the good) amongst the flashes of black (the bad)—creating a bar code of a life that would register in high dollars the angst and torment that was my existence. In order to reach the point where I can say my life was and is full of joy, I must remember and cherish the good things that are there. The struggle for me is remembering those good days and moments. The anxiety and its consequent symptoms have been very good at blocking out those moments of happiness or pin points of joy, which is so incumbent of angst that one must try to stay one step ahead of its destructive force.
So I take time to make notes of things I remember from my long ago past and my not so distant past in order to remind myself there were moments that gave me pleasure and hope. It does me no good to link myself to every bad moment.
