William F DeVault, click
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Blogs by William F DeVault
step 1: man plans, God laughs 12/19/2004 12:18:17 PM
Since my epiphany (I sudder to use that word, seeing how well "Damascus" turned out...) the other night, I have been skirting the edge of the path.
I spoke with a few advisors and a few people who do not know they are advisors, to see where their heads were vis-a-vis what I am up to.
I think the first thing I will do is, while sitting here, observing the snow falling on the pine trees, declare a moratorium on new composition. I can still work on the edits for the two books, I can still adapt existing works to song lyric projects I am undertaking, but no new works. I know what it will take to end that fast, but I will keep my own counsel on that.
I am not discouraged by the drought of contact with my daughter. Saddened, even drained, but not discouraged. I learned a long time ago that endurance is more important than energy, just ask the Colorado River how the Grand Canyon got there. When she is of a mood to talk, we'll talk. Until then, I will have to put aside that part of my life and get on with the rest of it.
I am desperately trying to make things happen so that my only option is not to leave West Virignia at this time. Yes, there are many good reasons for me to return to California, most of them look good in a skirt. And the sort of money that people are starting to talk about is nice.
But, I need to stand my ground and make sure I stay close to the boys. I need to build on what I have around here, rather than try to recreate the magic that was Venice Beach.
Yet, if all I can summon in the way of money means California, so be it. The lesson of Gethsemane is not lost on me.
The speech at the WV Board of Education went well, well enough some people who had previously not even noted my existence on this planet are seeking me out. This may be a fulcrum moment.
ON Valentine's Day I will have successfully completed my second self-imposed romantic exile in my adult life. Will I make it that far...(laugh) at my current rate, certainly. But at least now that will be because of what I want or don't want, not from legal, ethical or moral baggage.
Laisse les morts ensevelir leurs morts.
For all the pieces of me I have left behind to pass through each portal that has brought me to this time and place, I still live.
