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Blogs by William F DeVault
a vile attar 4/10/2005 4:41:17 AM
when I was a young man, I belived in the tidal wave:
the concept that victory in most things was assured through bringing all resources to bear with a persistence and purpose.
there was little room for nuance.
and now I see where that was a mistake in some cases. one needs to fight the essential fights, but sometimes agility spares wasted energy.
yet, having been subjected to the level of venom and disingenuousness that I have encountered over the last several years, I am perceiving that some of it may have been attempts by individuals who had agendae different from mine...and, not wishing to confront me head on, took a more subtle tack (subtle tacks can easily go into the shadows, and from there, into the darkness. I don't think most people wish to be be dishonest or selfish, but slide inot that mode by accident, or in reaction to conflict. I could give cases in point, but that would involve many confidentialities, I have no desire to become the monster that would make me into...)
it is...difficultt, to say the least, to stay your wrath when you have discovered betrayal or deceit. maybe easier for many or most than for me, I don't know...
When the show "Remington Steele" was on, I couldn't watch it. I like the leads (I fancied Stephanie Zimbalist, to be honest) and the writing was crisp, but the whole concept of one person taking credit for another's work was so loathesome to me.
now, look at me...I've ghosted not only creative projects but hundreds of other documents that I should not have, all in a vain attempt to help others who are seemingly incapable of living up to the standards that have been set for them.
no more. I want no more to play Cyrano to a sphere of those who have much to offer the world, but maybe not what is being asked or required of them. I don't ask others to take tests for me, write papers for me, ghost novels for me.
deceit is a vile attar and I would rather live in a world without roses than in a pit of corruption.
