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Blogs by Pinckney D Rivers
Guru Yourself! 10/18/2010 2:10:35 PM
on being a self-help guru whether you want to or not. Today I took my husband to get bloodwork; shopped at the grocery store; got hired for a job I really, really wanted and found out that dyslexia is hereditary and primarily transferred through the female line; skipping a generation. I did all this before noon. The thing about the dyslexia was just a short addendum from my niece who has a dyslexic son. She called to say he would be tested on Friday and then, hopefully get into a special school that would help him. She and his father are divorced; the father is the one who says dyslexia is hereditary on the woman's side and that it skips a generation. This statement lets us know in no uncertain terms that HE is not responsible for the dyslexia; he blames my sister-in-law (my nephew's grandmother) primarily because he despises her. Actually, the father is dyslexic himself and is the probable "gene-erator" of my nephew's problem with words and numbers. I feel like I am partially responsible because I am the one who pointed out to my niece that my nephew has problems. He is five years old. Last year he started pre-school and this year he is in kindergarten. He is already so far behind that there is no possibility that he will ever catch up. He does not recognize letters or numbers that my grandson has known since he was 2 1/2. It is sad to watch him struggle to identify a b or an m when it is such a simple thing for others to do. Numbers are just as bad. He basically has no future at this point if it involves education. He is only 5. That is a terrible sentence to hand down to a child. I wish the father had kept his genes to himself. Now she has had to engage a child psychologist whose speciality is dyslexia and neurological developmental problems in children. She is trying to figure out how to pay the $9,000 per year to send him to a special school for 1/2 day sessions to help him learn how to "learn like everyone else". The father, bless his heart, refuses to contribute. He says that she already wastes his child support payments and that this is just another way to get more money out of him. With every new hurdle I wish even more that I had kept my mouth shut. I write self-help books and courses for people who go onstage and teach them to other people. These people tell me the subject and a general number of lessons or pages and then leave me to my own devices. When I am finished they pay me less than 1/4 of what they charge their audience to learn the things that I have written about. Their picture is on the poster. Their name is on the course. They claim to be the expert. I wonder how many times they have to read what I wrote in order to be able to teach it as if they wrote it. Don't get me wrong, I don't begrudge them the stage or the course. I got a fair price for what I wrote and if someone feels he or she can spend $1200 to listen to a person for three hours and read a handbook I am all for it. I hate public speaking. I don't like to be in big crowds and I don't like a lot of attention.
The thing that bothers me is this. When you really want to know the answer to a question that is bothering you or you want a solution to a problem or you want to change something you just naturally want to consult an expert in the subject referenced. If Mr. XYZ is the person claiming to be the expert but I am the one who wrote the book or the course that has his name on it, does that mean that I am the expert?
I think being a self-help guru is highly over rated. I used to think that seeking the help of an expert in a certain field was the right thing to do. Now that I am doing the research and writing for these types of people I am wondering how many of them are genuine. Maybe it's best if a person just trust his/her own instincts. Guru yourself!
