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Blogs by Pinckney D Rivers
Living With Dying Aint for the Faint of Heart 2/29/2008 7:48:50 AM
One of the most amazing people I have ever known. My Godmother has breast cancer and it has metastisized into the bone and other areas. She is 87 years old and has led a fantastic life. She raised her child on her own after her husband ran off with another woman. Although she only had a high school education, she learned the gregg shorthand system and became a legal secretary. She worked for some of the best attorneys in our area, retiring only when she was too ill to come to work any more. She has written many books of local interest and is considered the premier historian of our county. She has taught the history of our county and town and has received an honorary college degree for her efforts. She has never forsaken her faith. She is amazing. When her breast cancer returned after several years of remission, she tried to ignore it. When we asked her why she didn't go to the doctor when she first had symptoms, she said she just prayed it would go away. It didn't.
In October, the oncologist told us she wouldn't make it through Thanksgiving. She did, and through Christmas and New Years. She was in good form and we thought that perhaps a miracle had occured. If anyone deserved one, it would be Susie.
Our hope was short lived when she suffered a change for the worse in mid January. Now we are on "death watch" and it is the most painful thing I have ever done. She won't admit to herself that she is even sick; she has forgotten, in all the pain and medication, that she even has cancer. She wonders why all the people have to come and stay with her but she cannot stay alone even for a few minutes. Hospice has left us a list of signs to watch for so we can recognize "the end". She bounces back every few days but never to the place she was before she had a bad day. She is cold to touch. Her skin is yellow. She doesn't eat. She drops off to sleep when she is talking. She rambles when she talks. She can't get warm. And now she talks to those who have departed before her. It is a matter of God's determination now. She has once again beaten the odds. She is such an amazing woman and has always done things in her own way. Please let her just go to sleep and then to God. Don't let her be in terrible pain. She doesn't do pain very well. Please don't let her be afraid. She has such faith that there is something beyond this world. Please don't let her be disappointed. We have told her we love her and that everything will be alright. Please let her know how much difference she has made in our lives. God, hold her in your hands and take her to be with you in Heaven. She will even amaze you!
