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Blogs by Donelle Knudsen
Don't Blink 7/13/2010 7:19:47 AM
I enjoy people watching, but the other day I was reminded of a basic rule in negotiation as I observed two squirrels. Sitting at my kitchen table or standing at the sink, I often see squirrels running along the fence in our backyard. It happens hundreds of times a week. But this time two squirrels, intent on their mission of the moment, were headed in opposite directions and when they stopped face-to-face, barely an inch apart, I knew this would be interesting. For a few seconds, neither moved as they held fast to their positions. Twitching noses sniffed the wooden board; each made a move to scale down the side, but regained their confidence to face off again. Were they faking each other out or simply uncertain of what to do? Probably both.
The confrontation didn’t last long, because as soon as squirrel B backed up ever so slightly, squirrel A, or “Alpha” squirrel, seized the moment. The hesitant squirrel stopped and tried to regain lost ground, but the game was over. Emboldened Alpha squirrel knew he had won. He charged ahead as the timid squirrel turned around as best he could on the narrow board, retreated and climbed the nearest pine tree.
As I sipped my tea and considered the seemingly unimportant scene between the squirrels, I thought about confrontation in the human world. I believe that the same principle applies when we are faced with difficult people/issues in the business world, our day-to-day, or when dealing with a bully, in word or deed. The first one to blink, speak, or back up will lose. Or at best he will have to compromise in some way. Naturally I’m not discounting compromise or negotiation, but sometimes concession is not possible and blinking is not an option.
