Stephanie S. Sawyer, click
here to update your pages on AuthorsDen.
Blogs by Stephanie S. Sawyer
People to Count On 2/10/2008 7:42:12 PM
It has been said many times before that it takes a crisis to reveal who one's true friends are. It has been said many times before that it takes a crisis to reveal who one's true friends are. And so, I now know a thing or two about who is really in my camp.
There are some who have enjoyed stating how much they are in my camp, how much they love me and support me. Yet, they were strangely highly absent this week when I was suffering alone and in turmoil internally. How I wanted someone to talk with in those times when there was a death in my family - a close, loved one. Isn't it true that people need their families when in grief. I don't have an extended family I can count on in time of pain. I count on my friends.
And my friends were absent.
I reached out to two of the closest ones I have. They were deeply involved with me at my recent wedding. One of them heard my pain and stated that she had to get to bed. The other knew of the forefront of the situation. I have not heard from her since. That was over a week ago.
Today, I went back to the church where I was recently married four months ago. The man in the pew in front of me stopped and gave me special attention when he saw the tears in my eyes at the end of the service. He chatted with me. He prayed with me. He did not rush to get out of the church. He did not even know my name, but he took time for me.
When I arrived, I saw the lady who had done my wedding reception. She offered herself to me immediately despite the fact that I had not seen her in four months.
Actually, I'm rather wondering if all this has something to do with the denomination. Accountability is the reason I moved to the Methodist Church anyway. When I moved to Tomball having nothing, and I mean NOTHING, it was a woman at that same church who provided for me the groceries that I needed when the Episcopal church in which my membership stood did nothing. It seems the same with my friends from my wedding - the ones who have known me about 30 years. Talk is one thing; action is another.
Well, I don't mean to get into a sob story.
Being without family members in a time of grief is hard. Alcohol has ruined my family. There is so much blame and ridicule, I simply can't be around it. And so I lean on the church to get me through times of difficulty. That, in my book, is where my true family resides.
Let me go back to my story about God being my Rock.
Sometimes, it just helps to have other people to speak with when the pain of grief comes.
As Betty states wisely: People will let you down. Don't expect them to always come through for you. And then when they do, It's Gravy.
