Blogs by Deborah K. Frontiera
Fighting CPS
1/16/2012 7:44:08 AM
The purpose of this blog is to provide updates on some of the cases I reported in my book (Fighting CPS: Guilty Until Proven Innocent of Child Protective Services Charges ISBN 9-780-9800061-6-2) that had not been resolved when the book went to press, and to report other cases where CPS is not working up to par. I’d also like to hear about cases in which Child Protective Services did the right thing so those cases can serve as examples of what should be done. Occasionally, I will report helpful tips and web sites with advice on fighting CPS.
An Innocent Scene Misunderstood by a Stranger
Today’s entry is a bit longer than normal, but I urge my readers to continue to the end of this important report.
Mr. and Mrs. JM are white. They adopted a black child from Ethiopia. Little E, now five, was only two when the incident reported below occurred in the greater Houston area.
It was in the middle of summer, late July or early August. Mrs. JM’s parents live in Mexico and were visiting. The first bit of strangeness happened a few days before Mrs. JM’s parents were due to fly back to their home. The family stopped to play in a public park. Mrs. JM was busy running after little E on various pieces of playground equipment when an African-American woman approached and said, “You need to watch your child very closely.”
Mrs. JM politely replied, “What are you talking about?”
“There are strangers watching your child,” the woman said.
“Okay, thanks for your concern.”
A few minutes later, the woman said, again, “You need to watch your child very carefully.” At this point, the woman pointed to Mrs. JM’s father!
Mrs. JM realized immediately that this woman didn’t know that this was the granddad because of the difference in race. She apparently thought he was stalking little E.
“Don’t worry, that’s my dad,” Mrs. JM replied. Mrs. JM thought no more about the comment that day.
The morning Mrs. JM’s parents were getting ready to fly back home, it was really hot. Little E had just gotten up and was running around inside wearing only her under ware. They had breakfast and started loading car. Grandparents were already in car, backing out of driveway, when little E came running from the back yard (still in her under ware) to say goodbye once more. Mr. MJ scooped up E and held her to wave. Their next door neighbors, who know them well, happened to be walking by and stopped to say goodbye, too, so Mrs. JM stopped the car and turned it off. The grandparents got out to say goodbye.
E, a very active two-year-old, wiggled out of her daddy’s arms and sat in grass. Her under ware got wet from grass, so she took off her panties.
While they were still saying their goodbyes, a Black woman—a total stranger who knew nothing about them—stopped her car in the street and said, “Why is that child naked?”
Mr. and Mrs. JM (as well as grandparents and neighbors) were taken very much by surprise, and did not know how to react, especially as the stranger was being confrontational and aggressive. They did not feel that they needed to explain the entire situation to a stranger driving by in a car, and tried to reply as politely as they saw fit. The woman drove away after a minute.
Within a couple of minutes, everybody said goodbye, the neighbors continued their walk, and Mrs. JM drove her parents to the airport. Everything seemed “back to normal.”
But while Mrs. JM was driving to the airport, the woman returned to area and was seen talking to police outside Mr. and Mrs. JM’s home later that Sunday. Tuesday, Mrs. JM drove E to day care (Mr. JM works from home on Tuesday and Thursday). When she got back home, CPS caseworkers were there! They had already interviewed her husband and now wanted to question her.
Since E is adopted, and Mr. and Mrs. JM had gone through a lot in that process, Mrs. JM got very worried. The caseworker’s questions concerned how they were raising their child, what was in the house, etc. Mrs. JM had a distinct feeling that the caseworker assumed they were guilty of something. A sense of strain dropped over everything. When Mr. and Mrs. JM asked what accusation was, they were told that there was a report of a naked child in front of the house for at least two minutes.
They wanted to ask, “What’s wrong with us holding a naked baby in front our house for two minutes?” but wisely didn’t, realizing that the caseworker might immediately think, “Oh, my gosh, she doesn’t think there is anything wrong with a naked baby!”
The caseworker even searched their house! (Too bad Mr. JM didn’t know he could have asked them for a warrant and refused to let them come in.) The caseworker finally left but said they needed to go directly to E’s daycare to talk to the child. Mrs. JM didn’t even have time to call school and warn them. Mrs. JM arrived at school the daycare with CPS hardly knowing what to tell the daycare staff; it was very humiliating. The caseworker would not allow parents to be present when they questioned little E; she wanted to talk with little E alone! (As if a total stranger is going to get any kind of helpful information from a two-year-old.) CPS took pictures of E and said they had to talk to her doctor. Mrs. JM called her doctor’s office and asked them to call her as soon as they could. CPS did not explain any of the allegations to the doctor when they spoke to him.
Fortunately, CPS’s “investigation” concluded that no abuse had taken place. Little E was not removed from the home, but Mrs. JM still worries about possible repercussions from the report because E was adopted and they considered adopting another child someday. She reported the incident to her adoption caseworker, who was NOT surprised about the accusation. She told Mrs. JM that it is not uncommon for people in the African/American community to report on Caucasian families with adopted African-American children, propelled by cultural differences in child-raising and prejudice.
The whole thing has left Mrs. JM feeling very paranoid whenever she is approached by a stranger. She is also hyper-attentive about her daughter’s clothing and quickly fixes even a slightly raised skirt. While most people may be genuinely concerned and be only offering friendly advice, she worries that others may have vindictive intentions.
Mr. and Mrs. JM urge people who have genuine concerns to be friendly and less judgmental in their approach, and not jump to any conclusions or worst case scenarios. She also urges parents, whether their children are adopted or not, to remain calm and polite in their responses to strangers asking questions. Simple listening and a, “Thank you for your concern,” might save a lot of hassles down the road.
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