Sherri Smith, click
here to update your pages on AuthorsDen.
Blogs by Sherri Smith
Found a Lawyer 5/26/2014 6:54:07 AM
Finding a good lawyer who is reasonable and has a feel for your case is not easy. We think we have found the right one. Heather Has a Lawyer
I found a lawyer that let us come in for a consultation. I went too because her Dad and I were planning on footing the bill for this. I never wanted him around my daughter and grandchildren again ever!
It was only in the lawyer’s office did I realize the full extent of the damage he had done to our daughter and her children. I cried as I learned details about the emotional abuse they had been suffering. Jay said he would take the case and I handed him a check for his retainer. He said it shouldn’t be too much more than the initial retainer if everything would go smoothly. I had a funny feeling, I just didn’t believe that it would be easy. Boy was I ever right!
The lawyer told Heather to write down everything that had been happening to her during their marriage. I knew some, but I didn’t know all of it. In some ways, I wish I had never found out all that I now know. The lawyer was horrified just by what little Heather told him in that first meeting. Little did we know it was just the tip of the iceberg!
Heather had gone to DOVE to seek shelter. They were very, very helpful in getting her started with the paperwork for the divorce and the OP. They are still involved to this day. Her caseworker comes to the court house any time Heather has to be there. So do I.
From the beginning, Heather did everything legally and by the book. She waited three days to get her daughter back, she upheld her end of the OP. She did everything she could possibly do to keep her children together and safe. I thank God for the DOVE organization here in Decatur. Domestic violence is more than just physically abusing someone. Mental and emotional abuse can do so much damage but you can’t see the scars. The scars are all on the inside!
The truth began to come out while they were staying there. I hadn’t known about Luke’s demand for sharing a shower with his step kids! My other girls were pre-puberty and he had convinced Heather it was saving water and a natural bonding time for any typically happy family! When she questioned him about it, he told her she wouldn’t know what normal was, she grew up in a dysfunctional family! So, under the threat that if she didn’t go along with it, he was leaving her and taking Brianna, she felt she had to allow it. I do believe even if she had objected to the practice he would have continued the practice when she wasn’t home. Yes, she knew it was happening and she wasn’t happy or comfortable about it. He kept reassuring her that it was a normal practice. That’s funny, cause he didn’t make his son Luke take a shower with him. I guess he didn’t feel the need to “bond” with his son.
I probably would have had a fit if I had known that was going on, but I didn’t. After all was exposed I looked at their lives in a new light. I had always felt uncomfortable to see him wrestling with the older girls on the couch and on the floor. I hated it when they would pass by him and he would reach up and yank their panties down. I felt he encouraged Hunter to go “commando” so when he pulled his outer pants down, everything showed!
I was wrong too, I should have raised a fuss, but I was petrified that he would do what he had done before. When Breezy was just little, he convinced the hospital, Heather’s doctor, and me that she was suicidal. He put her in the psyche ward. He HAD me convinced that she was a danger to herself and to her children. I didn’t like the fact that he had put her in the hospital, but I wanted her to get the most help she could get and all she needed.
What happened after that was terrifying! I found out from a call from the other kid’s dad that Luke had gone to the courthouse and there was going to be a hearing the NEXT morning. If Rodger didn’t show up, my other grandchildren would have become wards of the state! Thank God Rodger made it down here from where he was living in Indiana to go to court to keep his kids. He immediately asked Steve and I if we could take them until Heather got out of the hospital and could resume being a mother. So not only did he take Brianna away from us, but we nearly lost the older kids too! I was a wreck! I didn’t know that just a few years later, the whole scenario would play out in nearly the same way. I should have been prepared.
