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Blogs by Pamela C Labud
Yeah, but is it really worth it? 11/27/2005 7:22:47 AM
Hello gentle readers!
I have been blessed this week with having an extra day off of my nursing job by fate and fortune, so I've decided to get a head start on my week by blogging first thing. Then I'm off to finish my copy edits.
I hope all of you that celebrate Thanksgiving had a safe and wonderful holiday. For the rest of you, I hope you had a chance to rest and regroup your energies for the week ahead.
It's rather difficult for me to rest on the weekends because I work every Thursday, Friday, and Saturday night. It also puts a damper on the kids' activities, doing weekend stuff with my husband, and most writing conferences that I'd like to attend. Right now, this year, I'm trying to keep myself down to two, the RWA conference in July, and the Romantic Times conference in April. Add to that my kids have a dance recital in May, and that's pretty much my schedule for the next year.
My usual schedule is work the weekend and when Sunday comes and I sleep about 4 hours, take the kids to a movie, and then crash that night. My writing is usually done from Monday through Thursday. For me, that works well. I ususally don't write on the days I work. Twelve hour shifts at night sucks the creative energy right out of me. I rarely have a break at work to write, though I take my alphasmart with me just in case.
No one can deny it's really tough being a writer. I can't help it. It's the job of my heart. But, being a mom, full time nurse, wife, and writer all at once is a lot. I'm not a super anything, but my kids aren't neglected and I do a good job at work.
(See me neglecting the whole housework issue. Ahem.)
Sometimes I dream about being a full time writer. I listen to tapes of Nora Roberts and others who are so big that they've left their other careers behind and it makes me very envious and even more determined to achieve the same. I know the odds are against it ever happening for me, but then I've beaten the odds by even being published, so I'm not afraid to hope it will happen.
I think in writing, like almost everything else, balance is the key. I still manage to rest my mind and body when I can. My sleep schedule is really messed up but I think I have that under control for now.
Here's a secret. I do better writing when I've had sleep. When I'm not overwhelmed, and when I'm not run ragged, my brain actually functions better.
I write when my kids are in school, when I have them at dance class I sit at the local book store coffee shop and work, and also on early mornings and late nights when everyone else is asleep.
I usually find myself making an excuse to my kids for not doing what they want because I have to work on the book, that I'm under deadline. I promise them that as soon as this one's finihed, I'll be able to do...whatever. The other day my oldest one remarked, "Mom, that's a lie and you know it. You're a writer and there is always going to be another book to work on. Face it mom, you're always going to be under a deadline."
Yeah, well, that's true. I admit it.
My children are first hand witnesses to what it is to work hard for what you want in life. They observe their mother sacrificing lots of things to be a writer. They've celebrated my achievements and my rejections. They know that the road is rough to get where you want to go, but if you keep at it, eventually you'll make it there.
The real reward comes in knowing that I did my best, that I had the courage to do what I wanted in a very (sometimes achingly) public way. I hope my kids come away with at least that much.
The truth is I love writing and even if I never sell another book, I can say that it was worth the struggle. I hope my kids have as good a life as I've had.
For me, it's definitely been worth it.
Until next time, gentle readers, have a great week and happy reading! Take care, Pam.
