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Blogs by Sue Hess
Charles 11/27/2006 7:04:16 PM
Some things in life just aren't meant to be easy...death is something I should know about, I'm a widow, I learned early. But some things you are never ready for...my cousin Charles is in a coma...
For the last three years, my cousin Charles has had bone cancer, for the past two years he has been fighting a losing battle. But he fought so hard and held on for so long, I guess I convinced myself he would somehow beat it...I knew better...I know there is no cure for bone cancer but I hid it from myself most of the time. We talked about everything except the fact that he was dying. Oh he told me about the treatments and the blood transfusions but we kept up the pretense, talked about him coming to visit someday soon, when we both knew he could never travel again. His bones had become too frail, but we still made plans and talked about fishing and some of the big ones we lied about in the past. We talked about so much and so damned little. I told him I loved him but does he know he is a brother to me, as much as my brother Jim. Does he know that Jim loves him as much as I do, that part of us will die with him. I guess in honesty he does, we have always been close, the three of us. I followed them around like a puppy dog when we were small, climbing every tree they climbed, never going to be left behind. And they never did, leave me behind, that is. They slowed if they needed to, they reached down a hand, they were always my big brothers and I'll never be as close to anyone else. I wrote the story about going fishing with Charles and the fun we had every summer. I told you all when we found out about the cancer and even though you don't know him, I need to tell someone. I need to get thru this pain somehow because I don't think I can stand it if I don't find a way to deal with it. Death is so hard, even when you have warning that it is coming. The next few days will be hell, the distance between us in miles doesn't make it any easier. My prayers will be in Alabama...not for Charles...he has made his peace with God and I know he is going somewhere where the pain will be gone...but for his family and mine, he was a special part of us and we will all miss him.
