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Marcus Dino

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Blogs by Marcus Dino

Fifi's Thoughts
5/11/2008 9:26:17 PM

Happy Mother's Day y'all and No Speed Racer No Speed Racer No Speed Racer Nooooooooooo

I just love that 'Speed Racer' song from the old Japanese cartoon flick made back in the 60s. I enjoyed watching reruns on The Cartoon Channel too, you know when I feel like vegetating and channel surfing (Marcus you're old enough to remember Speed Racer when it first came out?) Father also remembers it when it first came out but being in his 20s he was more into going graduate school than watching a little boy's cartoon.

Anyways I'm saying No Speed Racer instead of Go Speed Racer in the title because the current movie out is NOTHING NOTHING like the original cartoon. Yes you have the same charaters Pops, Speed, Skippy,Trixie, Racer X, the kid brother, the monkey and Mom but that's about it. I mean while the original cartoon was thoughtfully entertaining the new flick is a bungled mess that will remind you more of that strange high tech movie a while back where a guy was flying around a computer called 'Tron' than a movie about a racecar driver. People flying all around in their phony CG generated racecars that defy the laws of physics, people driving on tracks that look like they should be in a hotwheels set, computer generated mountains, computer generated skies, computer genrerated crowds, little acting whatsoever.........

Speed Racer was so bad that a chimp was the best actor in the movie. Speed Racer was so bad that not only is the movie made for a ten year old boy it had to be written by a ten year old boy. Speed Racer was so bad that instead of concentrating on the plot I was more interested in the actor's looks. I never realized that with her eyes Christina Ricci looks a 'little bit' like a goldfish. Speed Racer was so bad that I felt like borrowing that Mach 5 and drive away from the theater as fast as I could.

Even Speed Racer was an upgrade over What Happens in Vegas. What happens in Vegas was so bad you actually long to see Cameron Diaz (especially her 'hair') in 'Something about Mary' or Ashton Kushner in that now classic TV series 'That Seventies Show.' What happens in Vegas was so bad that the budget to make this film had to be lower than the 3 million bucks that Cameron and Ashton won at the casino. What happens in Vegas was so bad that I would actually stay in Aston's filthy apartment for a week (by myself of course) before I'd watch this movie again. What happens in Vegas was so bad you that Dennis Miller posing as a judge or Queen Latifah posing as a marriage counselor can be taken more seriously than this film. What happens i Vegas was so bad

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