Marcus Dino, click
here to update your pages on AuthorsDen.
Blogs by Marcus Dino
Meet FLIFI 7/5/2008 9:54:35 AM
I'm a 'flying Fifi.' I'm Fifi's alter ego. I have little wings like a bee or a 'tooth fairy' but unlike those useless fairy tales 'fairies' who do nothing but fly around I give everyone important advice. I look like a tiny Fifi with wings. (You'll see a picture of me in a short amount of time). I act and talk like Fifi but I am NOT Fifi. I'm a fanasy land fairy. I am not a struggling waitress/actress like Fifi and will not discuss my failed auditions or the weather or the Cubs or the latest stupid Double Os movie of the week (Even though 'Hancock' and 'Wanted' were a couple of real doozies. I felt like 'flying' out of the theater as soon as the credits rolled. I felt like waving my magic wand at the beginning of those two horror flicks and put the audience in a spell so they would feel happy and content and not more miserable as the movies rolled on. My first bit of advice IS DO NOT DO NOT WASTE YOUR HARD EARNED ENTERTAINMENT BUCKS WATCHING GARBAGE LIKE HANCOCK, THE HAPPENING, AND WANTED. WATCHING THE WASHING MACHINE ROLL AROUND IS JUST AS ENTERTAINING.)
I have no boyfriend named Biff even though there is a certain gnome I kind of like but he hasn't noticed me yet. He's interested in some dumb bimbo blonde fairy and I'm thinking of secretly waiving my wand behind her back and make her 'disappear.' I don't sing the French National Anthem for kicks like Fifi does. I don't live in a small little apartment in Van Nuys. I live in the flowers and under the grass and sleep under the stars at night. (Even though I sleep more in the daytime than the nighttime because I'm kind of like a nocturnal creature).
Being a fairy I don't have to you know go to the bathroom or have 'female problems' that a real person like Fifi has. That's one advantage of being a mythical creature. Another advantage is like I mentioned above I get to see movies for free cause nobody notices me sneaking in to the theater. Of course I don't enjoy 'pleasures' like eating that an Earth person enjoys so being a mythological creature does have its drawbacks.
One thing i have in commmon with real women on Earth is I inhabit a world full of lions and tigers and gigolos. Why can't you see me or any other mythological creature? You don't see all your ancestors and loved ones who have entered the 'astral realm' till the 'time comes' do you? So you'll see me and other mythological creatures like that beautiful 'unicorn' when the 'time comes.' The Lord made it like that. By the way I do like riding on the backs of those unicorns. They are much less tempermental than real horses on Earth are. They also have flying unicorns and horses like 'Pegasus.'
So what do I do? I give advice. Fifi told me that she wants someone else to give advice because she's like you know into pursuing her acting career and doesn't have time to be an 'advice specialist.' I talk like her and I think like her so that's fine. You're not missing anything. If you don't care for my 'advice' and think it's corny and useless well I could care less because it's my advice and not yours.
Also when you are ready to make a poor decision think of me flying on your right shoulder. I'll whisper in your ear that you're making the wrong decision. Of course there's a male gigolo wolf type demon creature 'exact opposite of me' sitting on your other shoulder who will keep on saying YES YES while I say NO NO. So you can listen to the gigolo or you can listen to me or you can listen to your 'inner concious' who makes the final decision for you but sadly since a lot of 'inner conciousneeses' are sitting around deep inside your brain lying by a pool getting himself or herself a nice tan from your brain heat instead of doing their job(when you get angry or upset or frustrated the brain heats up} that's where I come in.
By the way for all of you people who studied psychology now you can see how Freud really hit it on the dot when he described the Id (the gigolo), the Ego (moi, Flifi), and the lazy inner concious who makes the final decision called the Superego.
Allright so let me start off with a couple of tips you should follow like a bible. TRY NOT TO WASTE MONEY OR TIME.
First let's talk about 'wasting money.' I saw some dumb exercise equipment 'supermajig' being sold on one of those late night infomecials that promised you that you would shrink your waist like 3 or 4 inches in a month if you use this supermajig just 10 minutes a day sitting in front of the TV. There were like a call kinds of testimonials from 'fitness experts' and real customers who said the supermajig really works and that they would swear by it over any other exercise equipment. Please give me a break you do not lose 3 or 4 inches a month off your waist just doing 10 minutes of exercise a day. Maybe an inch if you do an hour a day 5 days a week. I googled under scams and supermajig and found out a lot of comlaints from customers is that the supermajik which cost nearly bucks did for them WAS TAKE THEIR HARD EARNED MONEY.
You do not waste your money buying exercise 'supermajigs 'when you can EXERCISE FOR FREE FOR SAY AN HOUR DAY IN FRONT OF YOUR TV IF YOU WANT DOING A DAILY EXERCISE ROUTINE OF SITUPS, PUSHUPS, JUMPING JACKS, TOE TOUCHERS, WAIST BENDERS.......THIS IS ONE EXAMPLE OF WASTING MONEY.
Other examples are going out to eat when you could be eating a nice cheaper even healthier meal at home, keeping loose change around your houae instead of putting it in rolls and taking it to the bank, buying 'frivolous stuff' that is not neccesariy at the drugstore or supermarket, driving a quarter of a mile in your expensive gas guzzling vehicle to rent a DVD instead of using your two legs, taking an expensive trip to Europe intead of taking an inexpensive trip to the Sierrras or the Rockies or the Adirondaks, spending hard earned money going out to watch a lousy no plot movie like 'The Happening' when you can watch a first rate movie at home on your local 'Classic Channel.' I saw a kid have the fanciest fanciest sweet 16 birthday on MTV. I don't believe her parents were that rich either. I'm sorry 16 may be a special age for a girl but no girls (like boys because you don't see boys having sweet 16 parties) need expensive 'sweet 16' birthday parties. When Fifi turned 16 she had a small party with some close friends and her most important 'gift' was getting her drivers license. She also didn't get a car till she got to college from money she earned from part time jobs.
REMEMBER YOU CAN USE THIS MONEY FOR YOUR RETIREMENT. YOU CAN USE THIS MONEY FOR YOUR KIDS COLLEGE BILLS SO DON'T WASTE IT. I will be giving more specific details on saving money in the future.
THE SECOND ITEM WE ALL SEEM TO WASTE IS TIME WHICH IN MY OPINION IS EQUALLY IMPORTANT AS MONEY AND UNLIKE MONEY YOU CANNOT GET TIME BACK. Even my alter ego Fifi says she wastes a lot of time. Your house or apartment is sloppy because you didn't have the time to clean it. You missed going out on an important social activity because you didn't have time to attend. You're late for work because you didn't get up early enough in the morning. You have to do a lot of work at the end of your weekend or vacation or holiday getting ready for work because you 'procastinated' and did not take care of things at the beginning. You feel like 'goofing off' and procastinating till the lat moment to study for that important 'organic chemistry exam' and don't do well on your midterm as a result....GOODBYE BEING CALLED DOCTOR.......THE DAYS GO BY FAST. THE MONTHS GO BY FAST. THE YEARS GO BY FAST. THE DECADES GO BY FAST...AND YOU LOOK BACK AND SAY I SURE WASTED A LOT OF TIME WHEN I WAS YOUNGER.
DON'T WASTE TIME. SET UP A RIGID SCHEDULE CALLED A TIME BANK AND BANK YOUR TIME. FORCE YOURSELF TO DO WHAT YOU PLANNED TO DO IN THAT TIME FRAME AND NOTHING ELSE. JUST LIKE YOU BUDGET YOUR TIME FOR TASKS AT WORK YOU NEED TO BUDGET YOUR TIME FOR TASKS AT HOME. OK MORE THAN ENOUGH 'TIPS' FOR NOW
