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Blogs by Marcus Dino
Flifi's Tips 8/2/2008 9:28:32 AM
I'm starting my tips so you can live a better life on this planet or any other planet or moon or whatever. You see all these super heroes and fairy tale figures and cartoon characters who are beating up the bad guys and waving a magic wand so Mr and Ms Prince Charming can enjoy the rest of their days in peaceful bliss. Meanwhile in 'reality world' you're getting up in the morning every day looking forward to your 'fun' job where you have to deal with all kinds of knuckleheads and you're rewarded by a paycheck where you can barely pay the bills (If indeed you have that fun job, what unemployment is now almost 6%?)
I'm sorry but when was the last time you were getting robbed and some dude in a mask or cape beat up the bad guy, gave you your money, took a bow and flew off? When was the last time you fell off a high building caused by a big earthquake like the one we just had this last week in LA and some fairy tale figure flew out of nowhere and gently put you on the ground? These people are such phonies unless they're in their no plot all special effects movies. (We sure get a lot of those movies in the Double Os and any actor or actress would be foolish not to work in any big budget packed with gen yers action flick as opposed to an Academy Award winning drama where you see only three or four people in the entire theater, big revenues means big salaries, but that's for my actress alter ego Fifi to worry about, not me. Remember I'm a fairy tale figure. I don't have to eat, I don't get sick and have to pay outrageous fees to hospitals and doctors, and I can sleep under a tree SO I DON'T NEED CASH, even though I and my fellow reality fairy tale figures do wish we could have a nice juicy steak once in a while.
OK I'm here to actually help YOU. I'M A 'REALITY FAIRY TALE FIGURE 'LIKE IN ALL THESE DUMB STUPID DOUBLE OS REALITY SHOWS THAT ARE THE ONLY THINGS YOU SEE NOW ON TV EXCEPT I'M NOT A PHONY LIKE THESE MOST OF THESE REALITY TV ACTORS ARE.
Like I said in my earlier blog where I introduced myself I look and thing like Fifi but I have little wings and a little stinger on my butt like you know a bee has. I'll fly around and sting you on the face or other parts of the body when I feel you're doing something foolish when it comes to things like saving money or improving your health or making this Earth a little greener so you and your kids and grandkids and great grandkids CAN KEEP ON BREATHING FRESH AIR AND DRINK CLEAN WATER. That's why you get a little itch on your face and neck, it's because I or one of my fellow 'reality fairies' stung you after you made a foolish decision.
OK let's get to business. First when I give you 'financial advice' I'm gonna use units called 'fillups' to show how much money you can save. 'Fillups' are equivalent to filling a gas tank in a compact sedan with roughly a 12 gallon gas tank USING TODAY'S CURRENT GAS PRICES, APPROXIMATELY 4 BUCKS PER GALLON. A CURRENT 'FILLUP' IS EQUIVALENT TO 50 BUCKS. Of course if the unit changes which we all know it will then the purchasing power of the fillup unit' changes. For instance if you wasted 2000 bucks a year on interest that's equivalent to 40 fillups at 50 bucks a tank. Now if the price goes to say 6 bucks a gallon which I'm sure it will in the not so distant future then a fillup for a compact sedan with a 12 gallon gas tank will be around 70 bucks. That means that 2000 bucks in wasted interest I mentioned before will be equivalent to about thirty 'fillups.'
OK do you get it? I mean hopefully I haven't lost you because it's starting to even hurt my brain but I learned a lot of things like these 'fillups' talking to my alterego Fifi's father, an economics professor. Dr Larouche is a very knowledegable man when it comes to saving a buck or two. As for a unit for my health tips, well I'll think of something later.
Enough gibberish talk. Let's get to the meat and potatoes.
First credit card or any other installment loan interest is about the greatest waste of money I can imagine. IF YOU HAVE A $100000 DOLLAR BALANCE ON YOUR CREDIT CARD AT 20% APR THAT'S WHAT, TWO GRAND A YEAR DOWN OR 50 FILLUPS DOWN THE TOILET? PAY THAT BALANCE OFF AS SOON AS POSSBILE, EVERY MONTH IF YOU CAN. I mean that interest is not even tax deductible, so if you just pay minimum interest payments you will never touch your principal. The credit card companies will just love you!
Next, OMIGARSH do you people throw money away. You want to send your kid to some fancy school? You want to retire and live comfortably before you turn 90? SAVE MONEY. NOT JUST YOUNG KIDS BUT A LOT OF PEOPLE IN THEIR 40S, 50S, 60S, EVEN 70S DO NOT HAVE MUCH SAVED UP. Let's not even talk about Gen yers and Gen Xers in their 20s and 30s, people this age spend everything as soon as they get their paycheck. Allright maybe that 401K isn't that great an place to put your money now but there's still Roth IRAs, CDs, money market accounts.... Unless you're the one or two percent of the popualtion who will get a fantastic pension like a fireman or cop you need to save every cent you possibly can. DO NOT BUY THINGS YOU REALLY DO NOT NEED. Do you really need that pair of boots or high heels YOU'RE GONNA WEAR ONLY FOR SPECIAL OCCASIONS. Do not eat out all the time. Eat at home once in a while. Omigosh Marcus you buy all that grocery food and you still like to eat out. DO NOT BUY BRAND NAME STUFF WHEN GERERIC STUFF IS JUST AS GOOD. You do not need fancy mouthwash or fancy soap or fancy toothpaste or fancy shampoo or fancy floor cleaner WHEN GENERIC STUFF IS JUST AS GOOD. ALSO BUY AT 99 CENTS OR ONE BUCK OR LESS FOR SUNDRIES AS OPPOSED TO EXPENSIVE SUPERMARKET OR EXPENSIVE DRUG STORE.
Do you really really need to spend five to ten bucks a week on lottery tickets in hopes of winning the BIG ONE? That comes to 5 to 10 fillups a year. FACE IT YOU LIVE IN LA YOU HAVE A MUCH MUCH GREATER CHANCE OF FEELING THE BIG ONE IN THE NEXT 10 TO 20 YEARS THAN WINNING THE BIG ONE.
IF YOU ONLY HAVE TO GO A FEW BLOCKS TO GET SOME SAY ASPIRIN TRY WALKING AS OPPOSED TO USING YOUR BIG GAZ GUZZLING CARBON EMITTING AUTOMOBILE. Not only will you save a few precious bucks on gas you'll be able to keep in shape without going to the gym. SPEAKING OF WHICH YOU CAN SAVE A FEW BUCKS BEING A MEMBER OF FANCY EXPENSIVE GYM BY DOING A ROUTINE OF JUMPING JACKS, PUSHUPS, RUNNING IN PLACE, TOE TOUCHERS, SITUPS ALL FOR FREE. ALL IN FRONT OF YOUR TV IF YOU WANT TO WATCH THE TELLY WHILE YOU WORK OUT. I will give health tips in the near future.
One last item, please pick up all those loose quarter, pennies, nickels, and dimes you leave all over the floor or your bedroom dressser, put them in a nice bowel and when the time comes, get those coin wrappers from the bank, wrap that money up, and take it to the bank. I can't tell you what kind of a fortune you probably have in loose coins all over your house.
So if you follow this advice, how much can you save? Maybe a 'fillup' a week, around 2500 a year? Can't that get you a nice brand name HDTV? Enough tips for right now, I'm flying away but please PLEASE FOLLOW MY ADVICE so your retirement account isn't full of cobwebs in your 'goldden years.'
